Why do I always have the urge to bite my partner? Many people expressed resonance: I also have such thoughts, especially when two people are together, biting the face, arms, belly, buttocks...
It seems that love is not just whispering and gentle caressing, this non-aggressive and loving "bite" is also considered a way of intimacy. But why do humans have such a unique way of expression? Is it a quirk to like biting others?
Next, Youngwill will solve this mystery for everyone.
Is it a quirk to always want to bite him/her?
First of all, it needs to be made clear: the behavior of wanting to bite your partner lightly is very normal. It may be difficult for some people to understand, but it is indeed a common thing and may enhance the relationship between the sexes to a certain extent.
So, why do some people always want to bite each other?
• Attachment theory
The motivations behind biting and sucking are similar, both implying a deep-rooted dependence. When a mother feeds her baby, the baby will suck for food to fill its stomach, but there is also a situation where it is just to establish a connection with the mother, which is called attachment sucking.
The interaction between adult lovers is similar to the interaction between children and their caregivers. It is a private language of love that can show that people are comfortable with their partners and are willing to express negative or positive emotions in front of each other.
• Cute aggression
I don’t know if you have this feeling. When you see a cute, weak, and fluffy little animal, you always can’t help screaming or turning into a baby voice. There are even people who express this emotion roughly as: wanting to sit on it to death, wanting to eat it in one bite. This behavior that seems to be aggressive but actually does not take action is called cute aggression, which may include the desire to pounce, squeeze, knead, or even bite our favorite objects.
"Cute aggression appears to be a mechanism for managing the excess positive emotions we experience when we interact with something that's too cute to handle," said Lisa A. Williams, a social psychologist and associate professor in the Faculty of Science at the University of New South Wales.
Just as people can cry out of happiness, or become overloaded with cuteness and experience opposing, contradictory aggressive responses, when we experience cute aggression, it's a very intense, positive feeling. Scientists estimate that about half of all adults have experienced cute aggression, so it's nothing to worry about.
It's not violence or perversion, but an expression of emotion. When we're overwhelmed with positive emotions, cute aggression stabilizes those emotions and prevents us from being overwhelmed by them, just like hitting the brakes after pressing the accelerator.
• Marking
When we love someone and want the whole world to know about it, bite marks or hickeys can be seen as a way to express passion, desire, and even possessiveness. The tooth marks or bruises left by a bite seem to announce to the outside world: He's mine.
But it’s also a primal instinct that goes back a long way to a deep emotional need for security, confidence, and intimacy.
• Stress Relief
A study of eight studies of more than 400 adults found that regular gum chewers had significantly less anxiety than those who never chewed gum.
Like gum chewing, biting your partner can also trigger positive effects because the act of biting or chewing “activates several brain regions that are critical for cognitive processing, including the hippocampus and prefrontal cortex.”
• Want to gain the upper hand
Sex expert Mackenzie Riel believes that “biting can be an exchange of power or a signal of affection,” but some people believe that biting is more “about power and control,” and if your partner allows you to bite him or even enjoys it, it’s submission to you.
He puts himself in a vulnerable position, and by doing so, you gain the upper hand.
These are the motivations when people can’t help but want to bite their partners, but biting still has other functions.
Other effects of biting
• Fun
In addition to simple biting, biting is also regarded as an expression of oral sex by many couples.
Sensual biting can be part of foreplay because biting can enhance physical pleasure, focus attention on specific sexually sensitive areas, and amplify the sense of touch.
Some people may feel aroused by seeing the teeth marks they left on their partners, because these teeth marks can reflect dominance or ownership; some people may feel aroused by the increase in adrenaline caused by such pain; some people think that such biting may belong to the category of BDSM.
Dr. Alfred Kinsey, who studied the topic of biting and sexual arousal, found that almost half of people will have sexual impulses when being bitten, and the degree of arousal varies from person to person.
Although biting may seem childish to some people, and if the intensity is not well controlled, it may cause pain to the partner and cause disgust, there is only a fine line between pleasure and pain. If the right method is used, the body will release endorphins with the feeling of biting, driving blood flow to the genital area.
Two studies published in the Archives of Sexual Behavior in 2009 found that participants who willingly engaged in sadomasochism in sex games had closer connections with their partners and increased emotional trust.
Therefore, biting is not only a way to communicate feelings and desires, but also a way to deepen the intimacy between us and our partners. Biting can let the other person know how much you need and desire him or her!
Warm Tips: Don't bite right away. It's best to start with gentle kisses and licks, then gradually turn to gentle biting, and then increase the intensity according to your partner's requirements and current feelings. In addition, it's best to choose the other person's sensitive area to bite. Finally, it's best to brush your teeth before biting, and don't leave too much saliva because you are too immersed...
• Venting
Of course, biting doesn't always express a positive emotion. In some cases, it may indicate that problems or expectations in the relationship have not been met. If the partners quarrel or disagree on a daily basis, and things can't be resolved immediately, one of them may vent their emotions by biting.
Biting at this moment may be a way for one party to anger the other party or force the other party to take action.
In short, a light bite is fun and can enhance feelings, but if it affects the relationship because of excessive force, it will not be worth it. Moreover, not everyone can accept this way of expression.
No matter in what situation, when you want to express your love to the other person by biting, you hope to communicate with the other person in advance and obtain the other person's consent. After all, mutual respect is the foundation of a relationship.
